Yesterday was my 57th birthday, and contrary to popular belief, I’m actually looking forward to growing older. Being confident in your identity and feeling free from the need for other people’s acceptance comes from knowing who you are.

My hubby, Mike, however, doesn’t seem to have received the memo. He used to make fun of my wrinkles, gray hair, and aging, but now he’s a continual source of negativity in my life. But it wasn’t until my birthday celebration that I realized how deeply ingrained his contempt was.

The Passive/Aggressive Spouse

During the celebration, Mike was acting in an unbearable manner. He was acting in a passive-aggressive manner from the beginning of the celebration, criticizing my outfit and makeup. I picked out a beautiful attire, which made me feel put together and proud of my years. But Mike’s words cut like razors and undermined my confidence.

The final straw came when he yelled, “You’re TOO OLD for me!” aloud enough for everyone in the room to hear. The room fell silent awkwardly, and I felt my shame weighing heavily on me. Before I could get the courage to respond, my best friend Emily stepped in.