The wife is concerned with the privacy there. To soothe her mind, the husband says he will search the room for a bug.

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Under the rug he finds a disc with four screws.

He gets his Swiss Army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the couple how their stay was.

The husband immediately becomes suspicious and wants to know why he’s being questioned.

The hotel manager replies, “Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them!”

Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, “No”.

Johnny asks, “I think they–”

His mom interrupts, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.”

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

She replies, “No.”

Johnny says, “ I think they–”

His mom interrupts, “Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.”

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

His mom says “No.”

He asks, “Mom, let me tell you what I think.”

His Mom replies, “Ok, now do tell me what you think.”

He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.

A man and his wife check into a hotel.

The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.

She lies down on the bed when, suddenly, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager.

The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

“Look, lie here on the bed and you’ll be thrown right to the floor!” she tells him, So he lies down next to the wife.

Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “what are you doing here?!”

The manager calmly replies: “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”