It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher, “let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left.
He brings it out to show the man. “That one is too skinny. What else have you got?” says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
…
..
.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You’d better give me both of them!”
Son: “Daddy, why some of your hairs have turned white?”
Father: “Every lie you tell makes one of my hairs white.”
Son: Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers’ hairs are white.
2.
The teacher asks the children what they would like to do in the future.
Jimmy: I want to be a pilot.
Willy: I want to become a doctor.
Mary: I want to be a good mother.
Little Johnny: I want to help Mary.
3.
Children lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
4.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because although a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl said Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I’ll ask Jonas.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”
