Wife receives a divorce letter from husband, her reply is brilliant

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.

I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.

Related Posts

He Looked Innocent Then — But His Future Shocked the Nation

He was born on February 29, 1960, in El Paso, Texas, the youngest of five children in a hardworking immigrant family. Though his early life seemed ordinary,…

My nana taught me this hack to deodorize trash cans

If your trash can smells bad no matter how often you clean it, you’re not alone. Lingering odors can make your kitchen or bathroom unpleasant, but there’s…

8 of the Best Anti-Cancer Foods. It’s Time to Start Adding them to Your Diet

Too much red and processed meat, alcohol, refined carbs, fried foods, and sugar can increase cancer risk. Likewise, a sedentary lifestyle and not eating enough phytochemical-rich foods…

This hack was brilliant

Indoor plants don’t just beautify a home—they improve air quality, reduce stress, and create a calming environment. But anyone who has tried keeping them alive knows that…

Old Woman Who Believed Old Woman Who Believed Old Woman Who Believed Old Woman Who Believed She’d Never Had Children She’d Never Had Children She’d Never Had Children She’d Never Had Children Takes a DNA Test — and Takes a DNA Test — and Takes a DNA Test — and Takes a DNA Test — and Discovers She Has a Discovers She Has a Discovers She Has a Discovers She Has a Daughter Daughter Daughter

Martha Collins took a DNA test on a whim, expecting nothing more than a colorful ancestry pie chart or a few distant relatives. But when the results…

Whoa

Clogged drains are a common household nuisance that can disrupt daily routines and lead to costly repairs if not addressed promptly. Many people resort to harsh chemical…